September 14, 2010

Yeah I Did

09 14 10 Tuesday

I will be the first to admit that I have traded my integrity for selfishness many times.  I have chosen what I wanted over what was right very often.  I have taken for myself rather than given to others more than I want to count.

I may be alone in this, but I really don’t think so.  I may just be one of the few that will own up to it.  It’s not like it’s a secret though, everybody knows it.  I don’t ever remember waking up in the morning and saying to myself, “Self, let’s go out today and royally screw up.”  I might as well have though, because that is exactly what I did.  Did it more than once too.  There have even been several days in a row that I have just went out and did what was wrong to myself and to others.  I am not proud of the fact, but it still remains true.  I want to do what is right and I am willing to do what is right; that is the Christian code for crying out loud, but when push came to shove; I caved in.  I didn’t wake up after it was over with a jolt and realize what I had just done; I was awake and aware the whole time.  I even liked it for a a little while, but then the guilt, shame, hurt and disappointment all began to set in.  Then I really started to dislike what I had done, but even more I began to dislike me.  For a long, long time I had huge amounts of resentment towards myself.  I hope I haven’t lost you with all this; like I said everybody knew it, there was no secret.  I was a very human being.  Why then say all this? Good question.  I say all this to say that if you do relate to what I have said; hope, restoration, and reconciliation are available for you. They come at a price though; the price is repentance and change.  Never give up on yourself. Never lose hope in your destiny.  Don’t believe for a second that you are alone; that you have gone too far, that there is no hope, no future, no way you can turn it around, because you can; we can.  Once I stopped trying to change all by myself and made myself accountable to others; then my life did change.  You can too! I am a firm believer in you and the power of God’s love in you! With Jesus all things are possible.  Today is your day! Your best day in a long, long time and tomorrow is looking even better!

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